Key events
80 min It’s sent into the mixer, but United do enough and the ball goes behind for a goalkick.
78 min Everton win another corner and though Lammens has dealt with them really well so far, it only takes one error or decent delivery and he’s in trouble. And Garner sends in a good ball, but it hits George and bounces away from goal. No matter: Everton win another one, then send on Beto for Iroegbunam, and there’s all sorts of ruckus going on inside the box.
77 min Pickford is booked for mouthing about summat or other; United send on Mazraoui for Mbeumo, who’s limping; I think that means he goes to right-back, with Dalot on the … wing?
76 min The highest praise I can give the goal is that as soon as Cunha executed the pass, you knew it was coming. When Sesko gets into stride, he takes some stopping, a basketballer’s physique with figure-skating feet.
74 min Are we sure it’s Harrison Armstrong, not Armstrong Harrison?
73 min Everton send on George for Armstrong.
GOAL! Everton 0-1 Manchester United (Sesko 72)
The Solskjaer throwback continues! Maguire heads the corner away and, deep inside his own half, left-hand side, Cunha threads a disgracefully brilliant pass crossfield to Mbeumo … who 25 yards from goal, slips into the path of Sesko, and the finish, punches into the bottom-right, is as confident as it is competent.
71 min Everton are pressing, have a man over in Garner, and when the ball is slipped into his path, Cunha slides in to make a crucial block; corner.
71 min Talking of whom, competence is exactly what United required in their goal. A simply dreadful keeper would’ve been a massive improvement, but he’s stopped pretty much everything he ought to have stopped, and made some much better saves too.
69 min Everton win a corner and Armstrong shoves Fernandes, vexed about who knows what; they move on, then Garner swings in towards the back post. Tarkowski can’t get at it properly, his header going up in the air, but when it comes down, he finds a decent cross, gathered competently by Lammens.
68 min “Cards on the table,” begoins Matt Dony. “Being a Liverpool fan, it’s not surprising I’m perfectly happy to stick the boot into United. And some players are just unlikeable to pretty much everyone apart from fans of the club they play for. (We had Suarez. We know of which we speak.) And yet, I find myself feeling genuinely bad for Fernandes. An extravagantly gifted footballer, who’s has spent his prime years surrounded by an absolute shambles. There have been some real nadirs for United over the last few years. But imagine how much worse it could have been without Bruno. I’d have a cob on, too.”
I agree. It blew my mind to see internets mavens (really: mevinim) dissing him as some kind of luxury wastrel. In a good team he’d be revered as one of th ebest players ever to play in England.
66 min Now United counterr, Sesko finding Cunha who drives forward, waiting to supply a killer return and instead slipping. It’s that kind of game.
66 min Again, Lammens comes for a corner, punching to the edge, where again, Gueye has a shot blocked.
64 min Everton maintain pressure, Casemiro showing his arse and selling himself like he’s Virgil van Dijk, Dewsbury-Hall moving by him and shooting low, the effort deflected behind for a corner.
63 min But Everton counter, Ndiaye dipping inside Mainoo and finding Gueye, who drills into the nearest shins as though doing so on purpose.
61 min Cunha’s had enough, taking possession during another funereal sequence and driving infield, firing and following a pass that’s just the wrong side of Mbeumo. United, though, are back dominating possession and doing little with it.
61 min United create a rondo situation, but a poor pass from Mainoo means they’re soo back in their own area, starting again.
59 min “Regarding Carrick’s attire,” begins Paiul from Murcia, “at least it’s not every hoody or track suit top United can’t shift out of the Megastore like another manager we could mention.”
Come on, whatever else we say about Amorim, that man can rock some leisurewear.
58 min Sesko is ready to come on, presuably for Amad … and yup, that’s what happens.
57 min Under pressure from Mbeumo as Pickford smothers the ball, Tarkowski steps into Mbeumo, introducing shoulder to face. It looks a sair yin, but he’ll be fine.
56 min Dalot stands on the ball and Armstrong finds Dewsbury-Hall, whose cross goes somewhere towards Bridgewater Hall.
54 min Mainoo, though, is getting himself on the ball more often, which tends to mean United are playing better and, as I type, Casemiro lofts a lovely pass over the top and down the line for Dalot. Again, though, his timing is is excellent but finesse poor, side-footing a bouncing ball directly into Keane when he had options inside the box.
53 min It’s end to end now, like two rugby teams playing basketball.
50 min Fernandes is dropping deeper and deeper, to get on the ball, starting an attack with the ball ending up at the feet of Mainoo down the right. his cross is a goodun, Tarkowski, diving at it, can only lob into the air, and Mbeumo is there, lamping over the top from an acute angle.
47 min Are we watching United regress to the mean, the new manager bounce deadened, or are Everton – and West Ham – just difficult sides to break down? Probably a bit of both and for now, it’s the home side dominating, Maguire intercepting Garner’s cross and Shaw bringing away before winning a free-kick.
46 min Better already, Ndiaye turning Casemiro nicely but far too easily on the right touchline, moving the ball into the box for Dewsbury-Hall. He moves on one more for Armstrong, whose pass, though the correct finish, is poorly applied, far too close to Lammens so saved easily enough.
Nope, Sesko remains on the bench. It won’t be long before we see him I don’t imagine, but if I was Carrick I’d put my collar down then decide not to waste another 15 minutes with more of the same.
I wonder if either manager will make a half-time change. My guess is Moyes is relatively satisfied with what he’s seen, but Carrick might try Sesko – he was late to bring him on at West Ham and United have barely threatened so far.
Half-time email: “What is Bruno Fernandes so angry about ALL the time?: wonders Chris in Corfu.
Have you seen the teams he’s played for? I think he’s doing pretty well to hold it down, watching his brilliant talent frittering in front of a worldwide audience.
Half-time reading:
HALF-TIME: Everton 0-0 Manchester United
That was miserable fare, both sides poor in possession but solid enough at the back. Thinking for the managers to do.
45+3 min “It’s because he insists on committing a routine winter-specific fashion offence,” says Allan Castle of Carrick’s collar. “A t-shirt under a blazer (or in this case a long cashmere coat). It’s winter, he’s going to be spending two hours standing outside – why the dickens is he wearing a t-shirt? His neck is obviously going to get cold.”
I’d venture that the fashion offence is the blazer itself, whatever it’s teamed with.
45+1 min Both clubs have had nearly a fortnight to prepare for this game, time they appear to have spent playing Fortnite.
45 min We’ll have three additonal minutes.
43 min Lammens, not shy in coming for crosses, punches away, and when United win back the ball, they have a rare chance to counter, Casemiro on the ball. His pass, though, looking to put Mbeumo through is poor and easily intercepted. This is not good stuff.
42 min Amad has a chance to slide a ball in behind for Bruno … and underhits it. That’s extremely poor, and shortly afterwards, an error from Casemiro facilitates a counter, Garner winning a corner that has Keane and Tarkowski trotting forward.
40 min So far, Everton’s full-backs have done good jobs – though United haven’t isolated either as much as they should and, as I type, one of their own, Luke Shaw, has fouled Ndiaye, offering Garner another chance to swing a ball into the box. Again, United head it clear, but Everton are now threatening to threaten.
39 min He gets hold of it too, a swerving knuckleball that Lammens watches well, catching on the dive.
39 min A foul from Amad gives Everton a free-kick 35 yards out, pretty much dead centre, and Garner’s going to hit this…
37 min What is it with Michael Carrick and his overcoat collar turning up from the lapels? Is it a Cantona homage?
36 min Dalot slides into Mbeumo, who shifts it infield, looking to create an angle for a Solskjaer finish dragged rough the defender’s legs and inside the near post … but the effort zips wide.
33 min Ndiaye and Iroegbunam combine well to leave Mainoo and Fernandes stranded but, with men up, Dewsbury-Hall gives the ball away.
32 min There’s pace and tempo to this game but, so far, very little quality.
31 min Bruno’s delivery is poor and the ball’s headed clear, but straight to Dalot on the edge. He lets go a swerving, screeching monster – seriously – that flies just wide of the top corner.
30 min Amad goes at Branthwaite on the outside and the tackle wins the ball but, still on his feet, Amad saunters past, Branthwaite pulls him back, and somehow avoids a card. Free-kick United, right-hand side, five yards outside the box.
29 min Barry into Dewsbury-Hall, who looks to backheel in behind for the marauding Gueye, but Maguire and Yoro block him off.
27 min United are struggling to penetrate, as much as reflection of how hard it is against a well organised block as their own shortcomings – though both sides’ passing has been very careless.
26 min Keane drills a switch out to Ndiaye, who looks to take it on the move, moving inside Shaw with his first touch, but a block foils the ruse.
24 min Ahh, when he takes his top off, we see Barry already has some kind of protection on his shoulder, but he adjusts his rigging then comes back on.
24 min Garner chips towards the far post, seeking Keane, Mainoo clears and United win a throw.
23 min Barry’s in some pain here – he landed on his shoulder – so Beto warms up, but he’ll not be needed at this juncture I shouldn’t think.
21 min Under Carrick, Mainoo getting plenty of possession is a sign United are playing well. So far, he’s seen little of it, but here he is now, being veered away from by Barry, who’s just turned Yoro; he brings him down and Everton have a free-kick 40 yards out, fairly central.
20 min Much better from United, Mainoo sliding a clever pass down the side of the box for Bruno, who fools Branthwaite by dipping inside. But his cross is a poor one and the move breaks down.