Key events
69 min: Newcastle 0-0 Barcelona The substitute Murphy has a chance straight away, volleying over from Lewis Hall’s cross.
Barcelona bring on Dani Olmo and Marcus Rashford for Robert Lewandowski and Fermin Lopez.
GOAL! Atalanta 0-6 Bayern (Musiala 67)
Kinell, Jamal Musiala has scored Bayern’s sixth goal in Italy.
66 min: Newcastle 0-0 Barcelona Raphinha surges into space down the left and crosses low to Lewandowski, who opens his body and shoots just wide of the far post.
Newcastle are bringing on Anthony Gordon, Jacob Murphy and Tino Livramento for Osula, Elanga and Trippier.
GOAL! Atalanta 0-5 Bayern (Olise 64)
Michael Olise gets his second and Bayern’s fifth. Easy to take this for granted – most of us thought Bayern would go through – but that is a helluva scoreline away to a good Atalanta side.
Tonight’s latest scores
57 min: Atletico 5-1 Tottenham Griezmann’s touch to Alvarez, a dainty cushioned volley round the corner as the ball dropped from the sky, was just gorgeous.
GOAL! Atletico 5-1 Tottenham (Alvarez 55)
End-to-end stuff in Madrid. Jan Oblak makes an excellent save from Richarlison’s header at one end. Atletico break and Griezmann’s exquisite touch releases Alvarez, who runs 60 yards and finishes with utter certainty. There were 12 seconds between the save and the goal.
58 min: Newcastle 0-0 Barcelona Barnes whips a curler straight at Garcia from 20 yards.
56 min: Newcastle 0-0 Barcelona Will Osula blasts high and wide from a very tight angle after a nice through pass from Lewis Hall.
On that, is it me or is Lewis Hall really freaking good?
GOAL! Atalanta 0-4 Bayern (Jackson 52)
Nicolas Jackson, covering for Harry Kane tonight, has extended Bayern’s already healthy lead. Their quarter-final against Real Madrid or Manchester City could be one for the books.
46 min: Atletico 4-1 Tottenham … and in Madrid, where Spurs have brought on Dominic Solanke and the former Atleti midfielder Conor Gallagher.
46 min: Newcastle 0-0 Barcelona They’re back under way in Newcastle.
Half-time reading (optional for Spurs fans)
Half time: Atletico 4-1 Tottenham
A crazy first half in Madrid. The young Spurs keeper Antonin Kinsky was taken off after 17 minutes, having been responsible for two of the three goals Atletico had scored at that point. The poor kid may take a long time to recover. Robin Le Normand made it 4-0 before Pedro Porro got one back for Spurs.
Half time: Newcastle 0-0 Barcelona
Tight, tense, goalless.
Half time: Atalanta 0-3 Bayern
A stroll for Bayern, who lead through goals from Josip Stanisic, Michael Olise and Serge Gnabry.
43 min: Atletico 4-1 Madrid Ruggeri’s cutback is fresh-aired by Griezmann and slapped wide by the off-balance Llorente. Griezmann’s was an excellent chance.
42 min: Atletico 4-1 Tottenham “Hi Rob,” begins Krishnamoorthy V. “Shall we start a crowdfunding appeal to replace the cockerel on the Spurs stadium roof with a statue of Sisyphus?”
39 min: Atletico 4-1 Tottenham “My apologies to Rebekah Voss, my German isn’t what it used to be,” begins Niall Mullen, “but does ‘quiet horror’ translate to ‘vocal schadenfreude’?”
40 min: Newcastle 0-0 Barcelona Lamine Yamal somehow escapes a yellow card for a brazenly cynical foul on Lewis Hall.
36 min: Atletico 4-1 Tottenham Cristian Romero has just thumped a header off the outside of the post from a corner. Spurs are showing plenty of character here.
34 min: Atletico 4-1 Tottenham “Remember when Tottenham went 4-0 down to Inter in 2010?” writes Matthew Charlesworth. “First half was a farce, their keeper Gomes had a nightmare. Me neither.”
That’s a great comparison. They were down to 10 men as well weren’t they? Put the farm on a Pedro Porro hat-trick.
35 min: Newcastle 0-0 Barcelona It looks like Barcelona are controlling this game now. I won’t lie, I’ve been paying more attention to the car crash and I only have two eyes, but whenever I look at this game Barcelona have the ball in the middle third.
32 min: Atletico 4-1 Tottenham “I can’t help but watch this utter fiasco and wonder what Tottenham would be like if Harry Kane had stayed,” writes Rebekah Voss. “As a Bayern fan, I can vouch for the quality and character he brings to our team. And as Bayern lead 3-0 and Tottenham are down 4-1 I can’t help to wonder what is going through Harry’s head. Does he feel like he caught the last chopper out of Vietnam, or is he observing this with the same quiet horror we neutrals have?”
Tonight’s latest scores
30 min: Atletico 4-1 Tottenham
“This is the dumbest gosh darn Spurs game I have ever seen,” says Evan Crocker. “I love it. (Because I hate myself.)”
Ahem.
30 min: Newcastle 0-0 Barcelona Still goalless in this one. I haven’t seen much of the action in the last 10-15 minutes due to events in Madrid.
27 min: Atletico 4-1 Tottenham “Kinsky’s 17 minutes,” begins Paul Griffin, “are probably an unrecoverable disaster for the Loris Karius brand USP.”
GOAL! Atletico 4-1 Tottenham (Porro 26)
Erm, it’s on? Pedro Porro has scored an excellent goal. He controlled Richarlison’s square pass while simultaneously dummying Ruggeri, then drove a crisp shot back across Oblak.
GOAL! Atalanta 0-3 Bayern (Gnabry 25)
The last Serie A team are going out of the competition. Olise controls a long goalkick with a boot made of velvet and velcro. Then he slips in Gnabry, who finishes with aplomb.
GOAL! Atletico 4-0 Tottenham (Le Normand 22)
I’ve no idea what to say. Griezmann’s free-kick from the right brushes the head of a Spurs player and is spectacularly saved by the sub keeper Vicario, but Le Normand is first to the rebound and nods it in.
20 min: Atletico 3-0 Tottenham “I have been watching Spurs for 20 years (hi from America) and I am not sure I have ever seen a comedy of errors like that,” says Evan Crocker. “It also so perfectly encapsulates this season that I think it must have been scripted.”
Never mind the Champions League, which Spurs were never going to win. This could do irreparable damage to their morale ahead of their last nine games in the Premier League.